Dang, did we have a day. A day, I tell you, a DAY.
I woke up with a headache and immediately started thinking of all I needed to accomplish and how busy of a month we have and the feeling of overwhelmingness was already upon me. At 8 am. I served everyone some eggs, muffins and berries and got to work on my lists for the day. That’s about as far as I got.
I made the lists and then proceeded to stay in my pajamas all day. It was one of those days where my brain wanted to do so much but my body couldn’t do any more. I’m finally starting to slow down and today I reeeaaallllyyyyy slowed down. We got in the basics of school and then, for the one moment I left the room, chaos ensued.
Oh. My. Goodness. I’m not even sure I can talk about it. Well, okay here goes. Jeremiah ran to me in a panic saying, “Don’t get mad but…. Jazz ate a diaper! A poopy diaper!!!”
Oh. My. Goodness. Jazz had eaten a diaper and tossed thousands of bits and pieces of poopy diaper all over the living room and kitchen. All over. He also ate one of Brandon’s shoes. In no time at all.
What makes this all the worse is that yesterday I spent 2 hours meticulously sweeping and mopping my floors making my back hurt and turning me into a sweaty mess. But I wanted clean floors. Those clean floors lasted less than 24 hours. I seriously was seeing spots I was that mad.
Jeremiah and I cleaned and cleaned the floors and, at least to me, they are still no where near clean. Jazz and Jeremiah then spent some quality time outside while I took a few good deep breaths and reminded myself that I wasn’t going to die, or kill anyone, over a dirty floor. God is good no matter what, right?!
By the time the drama subsided I remembered that my kids needed to eat lunch. At 3 o’clock. I was not in the best mood to whip something together and the only leftovers still available were muffins. So we ate muffins. For lunch. At 3 o’clock. Don’t judge, it was food!
Throughout these past few hours tears were in my eyes and a lump in my throat came and went. I’m sure I would have been upset no matter what but these pregnancy hormones are making my emotions hugely magnified. HUGELY magnified. I was either thinking about my floors, the dog that messed up my floors, or macaroni pizza. Yep, that’s where my thoughts were. Over and over and over.
I’m being really honest and transparent here and I hope I don’t get flogged for it. Be nice guys. In the midst of me being on my hands and knees cleaning poop and diaper shreds off the floor, hearing the dog whine from outside, trying to keep the kids out of the living room, all while being exhausted and giving up the dream of having clean floors… I wanted pizza. And not just any pizza…. macaroni topped pizza.
I’m being real here guys. There are plenty of times I want something but I know it’s not good for me and I pull in the reigns, look at my meal plan, and cook accordingly. I have been 100% on board these past 28 days and doing great, exhausted or not, preggers or not. Today was not that day. Today, I wanted macaroni pizza.
And guys, I ate macaroni pizza for dinner.
I thought about not telling you guys. I mean come on, I could have totally gotten away with this.
But that’s not real. And I am here to be real.
I am here to share our experiences, our journey, our ups, our downs, what works, what doesn’t and everything in-between. So here I am. Being real. And saying that on day 28 of our 30 days of 100% paleo eating, we ate macaroni pizza.
I was such an emotional wreck of a preggers mama that I asked Brandon to bring me home some pizza and he did. And we ate it all. I actually ate a medium macaroni pizza all by myself. I did leave the crust if that makes this any better… I know, I know.
Yep. I kicked a wheel off our wagon and made us fly into a ditch head first. Are we going to live there? Heck no. Did we make a campfire there for the night. We did. Am I feeling the effects already? Yes indeed. My stomach feels huge, I can feel my intestines are very swollen, my back hurts and I wonder now if I really “needed” that pizza or if I could have pummeled through and come out great. Yes, I could have. Did I? No. Am I beating myself up over it? No.
We all mess up. We all stumble. We stumbled today but we are right back up. We’re not setting up camp in failure city, we are continuing forward and learning and growing. We still have 2 more days of 100% paleo and a lifetime of eating healthy. One evening of cheesy macaroni pizza is not going to derail that. It’s disappointing, it’s real, it’s life, but it’s certainly not a catastrophe.
This is a lifestyle, not a diet. We are on a journey, not on the fast train. We are learning and we certainly don’t have it all together in any way.
So what’s the plan now? To get up in the morning, make eggs and carry on.
Last night Shiloh was in a good amount of shock and exclaimed loudly, “But Mommy! We’re eating HEALTHY!!!”
Yes honey, we are.
Starting again right NOW.